Everything existing in time and space is vulnerable to change and deterioration. The same is with relationships. Time also stresses the quality of a relationship. However, there is one key to the happiest relationship that is replacing reaction with a response.
Let’s discuss the difference between reaction and response. For me, the words are not synonymous at all.
It takes few seconds for a reaction to occur. The unconscious mind drives it based on its beliefs, biases, and prejudices. It’s the unconscious mind that pulls the strings when you speak or do something without realizing it. Reactions take place immediately and are centered solely on the current situation, not the long-term ramifications of your actions and words. A reaction is essentially a survival strategy and an on-level defense. You might be glad at the end of it, but it’s something you’ll likely regret.
In contrast, a reaction tends to be delivered more slowly. It’s made up of both conscious and unconscious knowledge. You will provide a more “ecological” answer, which will consider the welfare of others as well as your own. It is aligned with your basic principles and takes the long-term implications into account.
Even while reactions and responses look similar, they are not the same. They are, nevertheless, different and have different impacts. The below points will help you to be more mindful during your next quarrel with your spouse.
Consider why you selected to spend your whole life with this person. Rather than blaming the decision, you have to find the real answer which is in the early days of your relationship. Remind yourself of the reason and focus on the good in the person.
Utilize Your Peace Times Effectively
If you utilize your peacetime effectively to agree on things that you will follow during quarrel sessions then it will be easy to control the emotion overflow. For example, agree on a word that both of you can use during the fight as a trigger to stop the fight no matter what. You might be overwhelmed to extend the fierce argument; it might be the most important thing but you have to stop talking when your partner said that word. This technique is to eliminate disasters.
Avoid Digital Fights
When you are angry or have some conflict then be face to face. Do not fight over texts. Not talking face to face indicates a weak relationship and it will lead to a dead relationship when you started avoiding each other. The point is also proved by “Brigham Young University”.
The National Bureau of Economic Research’s study proved that couples with friendships are more likely to have the happiest relationship. Both of you should appreciate each other’s efforts and should share things. For this remember to consider what they want? Males want respect so you should acknowledge their efforts by saying small appreciation pieces. Women love the expression of love. So, work on it.
To maintain the happiest relationship, play your part. Consider the above tips for best results. You can let go of anything but each other. So, nothing should bother you more than your spouse’s resentment.